Guns, Quartier LeBlanc

I Had a Talk With My Guns Today




Yep, today I had a heart to heart talk with my guns, because according to liberals firearms have a mind of their own. There’s just no telling what they’ll do. So-called progressives (really village idiots) say this all the time. According to their way of thinking, guns can of their own accord, cause all sorts of mayhem. Taking a liberal clue, I decided to have a conversation with all of them. I wanted to know how my guns “felt” about recent issues in the news because after all, liberals care a whole lot about feelings. (Unfortunately libs don’t care squat about common sense or logic)

I lined them all up and collectively asked if there were any “problems” that might make them want to shoot anyone in a criminal act. They looked at each other before giving a resounding and unequivocal no.

I then asked,” Have any of you been hanging around Muslim terrorists, sweaty sissy white boys on medications, drug cartel members or gangbangers?”

Once again there was firm negative answer.

I then asked “How about people very dissatisfied with their work environment or not happy with the government?”

I was met with total silence as they all looked at each other sheepishly. Gabby, the Glock 19, one of my preferred pistols finally replied, “that’s just about everybody, but we still didn’t want to shoot anyone.”

I had to admit that Gabby had me there and was right on both accounts.

However, I know guns and how they think. After all, by function they are made to shoot and that’s what they like to do. In fact, that’s all that they do and they have to have outside influences to function. I knew deep down that there might be underlying issues.

I’ve taken a page from the liberal playbook regarding diversity. I’m into that concept with my firearms. According to libs, diversity is strength. As such, I have all sorts of guns. Foreign guns, big guns, little guns, pretty guns, ugly guns, all of which come in (gasp) a variety of colors. That sort of diversity can however, breed some degree of resentment as well (LMAO) discrimination.

Of course it was the black ones, especially the black rifles (aka so called assault rifles) that first started to bitch and moan.

I like black rifles, I really do, but no matter how much you give them, they just never seem to get enough. Buy them a new ACOG today, and in a week they’ll want a new reflex sight. Get that and they’ll want a suppressor. It just never ends with them. Combined with a bad (undeserved) reputation and a rumored propensity for trouble, black rifles require a lot of attention and are often (LOL) locked up more than the others. However, in my world, black rifles matter.

The Colt Combat Commander named Jemima spouted off and said, “people hate us because we’re black and can shoot lots of bullets.”

I said, “ Jemima, technically you’re blue and not black, you’re not high-capacity and you’re not an assault weapon. You don’t have a dog in this fight.” She slinks away at the slight, running to hide in her padded case. 1911’s like most women can be “difficult.” She’s quickly forgotten the new Trijicon sights and ivory pimp grips I’ve gotten her. She’ll provide hiccup or two the next time at the range just to tweak me.

Finally, Barry O, a nice Bushmaster AR, got to the crux of the matter.

“We are so worried that people might want to ban or confiscate us and then maybe melt us down in order to make some sort of stupid sculpture,” he said.

I knew this is what they were really scared of and firmly assured them that it would never happen. I said that if evil people ever sought to do this, then “they” might have a bit of say so in the matter. I also told them I would take them out tomorrow night with the thermal sight and we would go shoot a nice pig or two or maybe even three. That seemed to satisfy them all.

My favorite weapon, Lucretzia, a 38 Ruger LCR sagely says nothing. Small, light, almost Gothic in her appearance, she’s as pretty as she is fast and deadly. She takes it all in as she rests in a Remora holster, her speed-loaders nearby. Lucretzia’s position in the hierarchy is assured and she’s never far from me. Her nod tells me everything is OK.

I take assurance that my guns live in a good conservative environment where they are given the respect they are due. They follow the rules and don’t associate with misfits or a criminal element. They are fed good ammo and cleaned with the best products available. Their home is secure and safe. However, after I hear their rumblings and feel their concerns I know what I’m going to do.

If you keep guns, you quickly realize their propensity to multiply. What they really need is another brother and sister. In the gun world there’s nothing like being fruitful and multiplying to piss off a progressive. I’ve had my eye on a new Sig P239 as well as another black rifle. Maybe I’ll even throw in 20 high capacity magazines into the mix. I feel better already. Above all, I know the liberals won’t.




  1. Joe Stalin

    You know, the Cosmopolitans will always accuse your guns being “penis substitutes”… but the way I figure it, since they want you to call 911 to secure a copper with a REAL gun, the gun controllers must simply be equipped with non-functional appendages…

    • So when Charlize got that munchkin Sean to melt down his weapons she essentially emasculated him? Then she humiliates him by hitting the bricks. Fascinating.

    • Quartierleblanc

      Joe, I meant to comment on the “penis substitute” thing regarding firearms. I’m fully convinced that many males hook up with the liberal movement because they can score with stupid females ( or other males) It’s sorta like my father’s buddy who did the same thing going to tent revivals. He went to take notes and not so much for the religion.

  2. This. Is. Hilarious! Love it.

  3. I recently had a talk such as you did with my PPK and little Kimber. They’re both good boys. Confident, vigil and well behaved. Never been in any trouble or felt the need to shoot off when they sense I’m angry.
    I don’t expect any display of nonsense from either one because they know how fortunate they are to get their turn riding snuggly in my bra holster, where they know most guys I know would like to be. 😉

  4. Alex Jones breaks down Obama’s calls for gun control following the Orlando gay nightclub shooting.

  5. Have you gotten the irony of the situation when the guy in SC killed 9 people and was found with a Confederate flag on one or two pictures on the internet, the powers came after our heritage and memorials. Yet when a man clearly states he is killing in the name of a very large cult, no one of the elite desire to do a thing to condemn that cult, except Trump. This does not make sense and we need to point out the bigotry and prejudice at work.

    • david7134, thanks for pointing out that overlooked hypocrisy.


      • david7134

        What I can’t understand is why everyone has to give up rights when the Muslims do something bad. After 9/11 we gave up the 4th amendment, rather that profile which would have been logical and efficient. Then we have the current problem of our great, wonderful, president saying we must all give up our rights to guns. After all, you don’t have a need for an AR15 that the liberals can see. But the issue is the fact that the AR did not kill anyone, it wasn’t there and the guns didn’t kill anyone, just the usual hateful Muslim cult member. And it wasn’t Catholics or Methodist that supported the hateful speech that led this nut to do such acts. So why aren’t be targeting Muslims? We targeted Nazis, we target Japs. And by the way, the internment of Japs resulted in minimal terrorist activities along the west coast. So, I am with Trump. Take the issue to the cult that is causing problems, not all of us.

  6. Guns&Bacon

    Just got back from volunteering at our youth rifle league. When we arrived, there was a group of police officers there qualifying. I have high respect for the police, BUT holy hell some of them can’t shoot. Inadvertent double taps, slow from the holster, and one officer, shooting at 25 yards, was consistently hitting the dirt 10 yards in front of the target. She has been pulled off of patrol and will be in remedial shooting classes.

    With all due respect, this to me is disgraceful. What possesses someone to take a job that requires firearm skills and not be proficient. They have free reign at our range and can practice at any time. Maybe she thought they said “To serve and neglect”, but the fact that she’s driving around with a loaded firearm is F’n scary.

    Rant over. And yes, my guns are perfectly content with their existence and hold no ill will towards anyone. Very entertaining article AWD.

    • Joe Stalin

      Chicago PD has some really small women; I bet they would resort to guns rather than resort to any physical hand-to-hand combat with a perp. Now, I don’t blame them, but is feminist thinking going to lead to more shootings eventually? Or will management try to keep them out of those situations?


    LOVE IT!

  8. it’s about time judges like this stood up to these 2’nd graders who chew their pop tarts into the shape of guns…….this little out-of-control bastard threatened every other 2’nd grader in the school with that pop tart……how the hell do we control these out of control 2’nd graders if judges don’t uphold suspensions for these little monsters…..why this kid could grow up to own real fire arms…..he’s a menace………the next thing we could expect is this kid would come to school with a machine gun…and we can’t allow that…….we have to nip it in the bud right now…..

    thank you judge for putting this out-of-control menace in his place…..we need more like you……..president Obongo should give you a medal for saving the lives of every one of those 2’nd graders……..Loretta “I hate white people” Lynch should pay you a personal visit and give you a big kiss……..on the lips….bet you would like that………

    thank you judge….your a real piece-of-work………

  9. NC black congress-woman “Buckwheena” claims “police and soldiers” to be the most dangerous people with guns and should be disarmed………..then tries to scrub her comments form FakeBook page after denigrating officers of the law and patriotic soldiers…………..

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