Advertisement

THANKS, BONO! YOU CAN GO BACK TO SINGING CRAPPY POP SONGS NOW

Advertisement

RAAAAALLLLLLPH!

RAAAAALLLLLLPH!

Bono (I actually typed ‘Bobo’ but corrected it). I just don’t get it. Yeah, the singer for the vastly overrated and supremely sucky Irish band U2. Who elected this guy the supreme voice for every cause on Earth? Because, if there’s a cause, Bono is sure to show up and yack about it! He’s the Eurotrash version of Bruce Springsteen. Equally annoying but with a different fuzzy little foreigner accent!

Yesterday, Bono testified before the so-called “world’s greatest deliberative body” aka the US Senate. Here’s the deal, if Lindsey ‘Fredo’ Graham is a member of it, “deliberative” is not the correct description. “Douchebaggerous” comes to mind. Is it any wonder the approval rate of Congress is lower than snake sh*t?

What was Bono boring people in the Senate about yesterday? ISIS. If the Senate wanted to speak with someone with more cogent knowledge about the evil ISIS, they should have spoken to any number of Washington’s mentally ill homeless. Or my kid’s dog.

Here’s how the Senate wasted your tax dollars yesterday. Bono suggested:

“Don’t laugh. I think comedy should be deployed. It’s like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them, when they’re goose-stepping down the street, and it takes away their power. So, I’m suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer, and Chris Rock, and Sacha Baron Cohen, thank you.”

Well, there you go. All those savage 7th century murderers need is a few chuckles and game over! Actually, I agree that Amy Schemer, Christ Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen should be all put on the first plane to Syria to laugh at ISIS! Please include Bruce Springsteen and Bono since their three chord snoozer songs are certainly laughable.

If comedy is the answer to savage Islam, why not send over some funny little tactical nukes into the strongholds of ISIS? They’d laugh until they die!

I guess the real reason Bono bugs the sh*t out of me is he’s really a gigantic hypocrite. His charitable foundation that raises huge sums of cash for the struggling masses (whoever they are) was found to give less than 1% to actual causes. Here’s what The Baltimore Sun reported a few years ago:

Last year, Bono’s nonprofit ONE foundation was at the center of semi-scandal when it was revealed that in 2008 the organization raised $14,993,873 in public donations — of which only $184,732 (or just over ONE percent) was distributed to charities. Where did the rest go? Well, more than $8 million went to salaries for executives and employees at ONE. In response to the fusillade of criticism following these revelations, ONE spokesman Oliver Buston explained, “We don’t provide programs on the ground. We’re an advocacy and campaigning organization.”

Bono’s great at pleading for US tax dollars to go to his cause du jour. Spending his own money? Not so much. In the naaaaame of hypocrisy!

AWD had a conversation with Big Fur Hat about how annoying this Bono cat is a few summers ago. Bono can’t say anything clearly. He tries to make everything like he’s some kind of philosopher. Or a drunk. Here he is talking about Leonard Cohen. (As any AWD reader knows, AWD is a huge Leonard fan so I was ready to shoot my tv when I watched this)

Yes, Bono. Some people make doors. Others cut hedges. Others are self-important blowhards who bore the hell out of us. And I don’t think you make doors or trim the hedges! Neither does the wasteoids in the Senate who asked you to testify.

If the Senate wants to waste their time with blowhard wastes of space, they should bring in Al Gore and ask him how many millions he made off of his Global Warming invention? And why all the damn ice bergs are a floating around the North and South poles? You know, the ice bergs and ice caps Al Gore said six years ago that wouldn’t exist in five years? Hell, AWD is still pissed at Gore because I spent a fortune on those penguin decoys to get ready for the Texas penguin hunting season which never came!

There’s enough annoying people in Congress! The Senate doesn’t need to bring in fuzzy little foreigners like Bono to tell us to comedy ISIS to death! And as for unfunny liberal comedians testifying to the Senate, isn’t Al Franken still up there?

Here’s a hilarious video of U2 guitar play “The Edge” (really? The Edge is his name?) showing Jimmy Page how to play the two chords of the U2 song “I Will Follow.” I’m sure Jimmy was thinking “I can’t believe I’m playing guitar in a beginner class with this guy!”

Advertisement

Related Posts