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THE DAY THE RUSSIAN MUSIC DIED!

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VOTED FOR OBAMA!

It’s a sad day for commie bastids all over the former Soviet Union (including those in the White House). The Trololo Man who amused dozens of Soviet Music fans has died. Eduard Khil died today at age 77. His Trololo song has gone viral over Al Gore’s inter web net over the past several years. It has even been listed at the connoisseur of fine music Angry White Dude’s website under the category of “Russian Music That Does Indeed Suck El Grande Uno!”

AWD doesn’t care much for Ruskie bastids. They’re about one half step above Muslims and three steps below the rat in my book. The Big Sexy can’t like any country who has a dictator named Putin. That don’t even sound right. I grew up during the Cold War and am still willing, able and armed to the teeth to go nose to nose with those comm-a-nists at a moments notice! AWD is fluent in any number of fuzzy little foreigner languages but never learned Russian. Mostly because I hated their red guts. Still do. So I have no freaking idea what this Trololo cat was blabbering about in his cheesy 200% polyester suit. So I enlisted the AWD team of expert linguists to figure out just what that googly-eyed Russian was singing in that horrid song. They discovered he was actually singing the lyrics “nuke those capitalists back to George Washington.” And laughing about it too! Sumbitch!

For you teabaggin’, redneck, unsophisticated goat ropers who have no idea what AWD is talking about, it’s about time y’all get educated in international relations. I’ll give you a hint at how it’s done. When you’re in a roomful of fuzzy foreigners: act cool, be professional and have a plan to kill everyone in the room.

Here’s the Trololo singing comm-a-nist:

Hell, here’s an even better one!

I can’t imagine how terrible it must have been growing up in the Soviet Union without Texas country. Or toilet paper. Or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. No wonder those people are so damn mean!

So for all you commies yearning for some of that Trololo mess, I only have two words for you:

Dale F@*&in’ Watson!

Music for ‘mericans. Because AWD is a ‘merican, baybah! Watch this video. Learn it. Live it.

And here’s Dale in action singing “Honky Tonkers Don’t Cry.” That’s right, Clarence! Only Russians and liberals cry! And metrosexuals. Not honky tonkers. Just ask Dale.

Aw hell, since the Big Sexy’s at it, might as well throw in some Billy Joe! Billy Joe Shaver shot some dude in the face after a show in Waco a few years back because the guy said some smart-ass comment to Billy Joe’s wife. Bet he’ll keep his pie-hole shut next time! Let’s see some comm-a-nist have the cojones to shoot some dude in the face up close! ‘merica, man. Actually Texas, man!

Here’s Billy Joe complaining about the price of Thunderbird wine. AWD defies you to not like this. If you do, you are indeed a comm-a-nist and better be on the next boat to Moscow, Fidel!

So suck on that, you Russkie bastids! Score one for America!

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