The Plight of the Melanin Poor


Creepy A** Crackers in their natural habitat


The pursuit of happiness (in my case, read:  “fun”) is the usual agenda for Texas Belle.  And while she normally is successful in those pursuits, occasionally real life can be a party pooper.  Personal disclosure:  Texas Belle has been in the trenches with her little Pre-K buckaroo and his acute illness.  He’s much better now but the last two weeks of intensive snuggling and comforting the little progeny have left me focused on him and wondering about his future.  As I stroked his little clammy, pale cheeks, I called to mind the reality that this is only a fleeting moment.  He will one day not have his adoring Mommy to cuddle him in his discomfort.  What sort of world will greet my little rosy cheeked cherub, when he is a man?

The world has turned on the Caucasian male.  To an extent, he is the author of his own undoing.  Specifically, it is primarily the fault of the Caucasian subspecies Homo Sapiens Babyboomerus.  I blame his kind for the proliferation of many ills that now plague us.  Thanks to the ‘Boomers, we enjoy firmly entrenched liberal cultural values, AIDS, absurd chase scenes in movies, and the various male enhancement ads. Really guys, how is sitting in separate tubs on the beach getting us closer to the goal line?  H.S. Babyboomerus has systematically thrown away his position of power with both hands with the grace of a failed layup.  It was the distinct privilege and leisure accorded to ‘Boomers as children and young adults that afforded them the idle time crucial to even conceive of “White Guilt.”  In his attempt to assuage his guilt, he effectively set in motion a power transfer from himself to everyone else through political mandate.  He may yet think he has scored a few points along the way, as with “free love.”  What guy doesn’t enjoy the idea of no commitment sex?  And how handy is it that nowadays, practically every woman expects to earn as much dough as her man…if not more?  It sure makes it easier to take advantage of that No-Fault divorce thingy, without the bothersome guilt.  The ladies can obviously take of themselves much better than the guys can anyway, right?  After all, we are all equals and it leaves the modern guy time for important self improvement activities, like Worlds of Warcraft.

The question of what our sons can expect in the future is an endless conversation I’ve been having with my younger sister, who has a little guy of her own.  We both worry about the place of men and in particular, Caucasian men.  We’re both agitated that each of our sons should not necessarily expect to enter his chosen institution of higher learning, simply because he performed the best academically and scored the highest on exams.  No, despite the fact that we are all “equals,” my son will suffer discrimination based on his creamy white complexion.  His Scotch-Irish lineage has left him melanin deficient.  You could say he is “Melanin Poor.”  And for that one factor, he will be disadvantaged academically, and therefore, financially.  Fisher V. University of Texas may have warmed the Affirmative Action glacier enough to begin to melt but any benefit to White guys will be in the far distant future.  Just a few days ago, Jesse Jackson declared that “Britain needs its own plan of affirmative action to stamp out generations of racial injustice.”  Oh boy.

The racist bias against white males has naturally contaminated the highest reaches of society and government.  Humbly, it is submitted that our own current POTUS is in office only because he has some genetic heritage from the African continent.  I remember thinking about the importance of role models, as I watched Obama’s Grant Park victory speech, election night 2008.  I thought of my young, successful hipsters friends who’d voted for Obama and were doubtlessly gratified that any non-Old White Guy was now controlling the world.  At last they could get a full night’s rest!

Forget all the other presidents and leaders in our great history, because, apparently, one can only be a role model to people of his own color.  No matter how great the person and the achievement, whether George Washington or Moses, today we are told there are more important people to revere.  Today’s children are pushed by schools to honor the achievements of the Melanin Rich.  The relevance of all those dusty ol’ whities is now carefully sidestepped, while the questionable activities and “achievements” of Jay-Z, Oprah and community organizers are lauded.  If I hear anyone else try to put across that Egyptian Pharaohs were black, I’m going to go jump off the nearest pyramid.

While we see diverse ethnicities and cultures promoted in our schools, in music, media and advertising, Caucasian men have been demoted to bit players.  And they are often the butt of the joke.  How many countless commercials portray the fumbling, idiot White father who has to be tolerated, ignored or otherwise saved by his children, wife and the people at Allstate?  I wonder, who will be my son’s role model?  Likely won’t be a White guy, if society and popular culture hold sway.  The message my boy will receive is that it’s somehow not OK to simply be what he is.  In fact, he should be ashamed of his White privilege.

So where does all this leave my little dude?  The odds have been stacked against him.  He will be subjected to discrimination from every angle, at every turn.  Will his achievements be acknowledged as worthy?  Or will he be despised for expecting any kind of acknowledgement?  Our society is too busy handing out participant trophies to notice and reward hard work and true talent.  The message of late has been that traditionally privileged White dudes should keep quiet and work overtime to contribute their fair share to the slush fund of Progress.

While it’s trés compassionate that all you White dudes have gone overboard promoting every other group to your own detriment, you should ask yourselves when enough is enough.  Gentlemen, please remember, our nation, our world needs strong, intelligent White men.  We need to hear your voice and your perspective.  My son needs that role model.  There is enough political correctness and mandatory diversity training in the handbooks of government and corporate concerns to carry us through to the end of humanity.  Stop playing the wall flower and get back out on the dance floor!  If we’re going to have a Conga line, it’s OK for you to lead it.  It’s time for balance in our once-great land.  Melanin Poor men of the nation, rise up!


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