Whatever you do, don’t get caught with an unregistered croissant in Caracas! And even worse, don’t ever get apprehended in the baking of a cupcake or other horrible instrument of yanqui imperialism!
The Miami Herald reports:
Facing a bread shortage that is spawning massive lines and souring the national mood, the Venezuelan government is responding this week by detaining bakers and seizing establishments.
In a press release, the National Superintendent for the Defense of Socioeconomic Rights said it had charged four people and temporarily seized two bakeries as the socialist administration accused bakers of being part of a broad “economic war” aimed at destabilizing the country.
Who would have thought the communist government of Venezuela could be brought down by muffin makers? Without the first blueberry fired! Because there are no blueberries in Venezuela anymore. Muffins either. Hell, include bread in that list too because the country is too broke to import wheat for flour.
And Venezuela has a National Superintendent for the Defense of Socioeconomic Rights? You mean, only one? Hell, we have tens of thousands of those working for the federal government in DC!
Who would have thunk all this for Venezuela? A country with the largest oil reserves in the world and a vibrant, modern society 20 years ago. But that was before Señor Cabeza de Papa (Mister Potato Head) Army thug Hugo Chavez took over the country and began spending money faster than a Hurricane Katrina refugee bussed to Houston with a government debit card. Well, I guess we all pretty much knew what was coming.
It’s easy to take over a bank and hand out money in the vault. But when it comes to managing the bank to ensure there’s always money in the vault, communists have no idea. Their ideology doesn’t work. Never has, never will. That’s why bakers are the latest villains.
What’s really pathetic is I can easily envision the Democrat Party in America blame bakers or some other straw man. Hell, they’ve beaten the Russia/Trump non-story to death for months now with their friendly propagandist buddies in the Mainstream Media and the wussypants Republicans in congress. Of course, the Democrat Party is the Venezuelan government, only with a little more money in the vault. Excluding the $20 trillion national debt. But hey, at least those American and illegal alien welfare moochers don’t have to worry about their next biscuit.
Naturally Venezuela’s citizens have been disarmed except the criminals. They have little way to fight back against the government military and police. So they stand in hours-long lines for basic staples of life while the Chavez family, current President and former bus driver Maduro, and a tiny group of government and military officials have stashed away billions in foreign banks.
The Croissant Revolution! It would be a great name if it wasn’t so sad.