You’ve all seen the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ t shirts and bumper stickers. But you’ve never seen a ‘What Would AWD Do?’ t shirt. Jesus beat me to the punch. Until now. AWD’s got his own WWAWDD shirt! And I guaran-damn-tee you what Jesus and AWD would do are not always the same thing! In reality, I’m pretty damn certain it’s just about never the same thing.
AWD is proud to announce the latest in the series of manly designer wear AWD t shirts. It’s called…wait for it…What Would AWD Do? That’s right! You can don you now some non-gay apparel and spread the age old wise metaphor “what would AWD do?” I’m not real sure what a metaphor is but it sounded pretty damn good right there.
So, if you happen to be sitting in traffic and some a**hole in an Audi (what is it with every Audi driver being an a**hole?) cuts you off and flips you the finger, just ask yourself “what would AWD do?” Next traffic light will find you hong-konging on that sorry fool’s melon! Just like AWD.
Or if you’re little filly asks you the Number One Woman Question Of All Time: “Why don’t we ever talk anymore?” just sit back, look down at your shirt and ask “what would AWD do?” She’ll admire your wit when you confidently reply, “Because it’s hard to talk when you’re in the kitchen baking me a pie!” Game over, score one for America!
Or when you’re Wal Marting and buying up some Hai Karate to slather on for your new pie-baking girlfriend when some metrosexual cat asks you “which skin moisturizer do you prefer that softens the skin and clears the pores?” Just ask yourself “what would AWD do?” before answering “sweat.” You’ll feel like the real man you are as you exit the store and hear the loudspeaker say “Clean up. Blood on Aisle 4.”
Since the theme of this new AWD shirt is kind of stealing from Jesus…well, it is just stealing from Jesus…I hope I don’t get a Cease and Desist letter from some religious type like the Pope or Revrum Al. Not to worry. I don’t think the Pope speaks English. Hell, neither does Revrum Al! I’m good.
So be the first in your mobile home community to sport one of the new bad-ass WWAWDD t shirts. Included free is an FBI detail to monitor your movements.
AWD already has one on the way even though I know what AWD will do in nearly every occasion. It generally will involve firearms and industrial strength sexy!
Be sure to check out the AWD store for other AWD merchandise. T shirts, sweat shirts, hoodies, toilet brushes, etc. You think of it and they’ll put AWD on it!
I expect y’all to buy up the store! AWD needs himself some new Hai Karate for my first date with my new soul mate Alison Krauss. I dumped Janine Turner. It’s complicated.