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WHITE LIBERALS AND MINORITIES, PLEASE HELP ME OVERCOME MY WHITE PRIVILEGE!

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WISH YOU MINORITIES WERE HERE! NOT REALLY!

Since Zimmerman (the creepy ass cracka) was found not guilty of whatever the hell it was they were charging him for, the professional race-baiters are taking the next attempt at making a buck off of poor Trayvon’s demise. This time, they’re going after “white privilege.” The only “privilege” AWD has is working my supa-sexy ass off to have my earnings taken by corruptocrats to support America’s moochers, domestic and imported. But it reminded me of an old post on the myth of white privilege. Enjoy!

Ahoy polloi, Angry White Dude, Esquire here. Just enjoying another beautiful day on my yacht, the Floating WASP! The seas are light and I’m enjoying entertaining my white friends as we bask in the joy of white privilege. The weather’s beautiful, wish all you minorities and white liberals could be here! Especially since my attendant, Jamal, up and left me and opted to go on welfare. Now who is going to serve us oysters on the half shell? Life can be so tedious sometimes!

Yes, while you minorities complain about white privilege, you really have no idea how difficult it can be. Just finding adequate minority help these days keeps my other minority employees working overtime. Not that I pay them overtime, mind you. Why would I do that? White privilege has its privileges!

But, overall, life is good. Even with that dreadful Obama trying to spread all my wealth from white privilege around. The stock market is up and I’m hitting my driver better than ever, thanks to paying top dollar to the best white golf instructor in the business. I know you’re happy for me!

Lately, minorities and white liberals, AWD, Esquire must admit he has felt a little guilty about all this white privilege I enjoy. I’ve been reading your leftist blogs criticizing me for enjoying the largesse from my ancestors who stole America from Native Americans and built this country on the backs of African Americans. Pity.

I must admit, I feel a bit guilty sitting on the WASP here on the bay day in and day out, eating oysters and slurping Margaritas while getting a lovely massage from my Cuban massage artist (and believe me, she is an “artist”). Perhaps you minorities and wild-eyed white leftists are correct! Perhaps I should feel guilty about my life of white privilege. Perhaps I could live with half of my staff of minority attendants instead of the full compliment. I could fire my team of tax lawyers and only hide some of my wealth from the IRS. I could start the Angry White Dude, Esquire “White Privilege Fund For The Benefit of Underprivileged Minorities.” Then perhaps we could bask in the glory of diversity and I would not feel so guilty for enjoying my easy life of white privilege!

Naaaaah! Just kidding! Why would I do that?

But, white liberals and minorities, I do need your help. PLEASE send me some new minority attendants. I’m just all out of sorts since Jamal up and left without even a thank you! I thought I paid better than welfare but was wrong. He said something about welfare, food stamps, Section 8 housing, Affirmative Action and a free ObamaPhone, whatever that is. AWD, Esquire has always tried to treat his employees well. Noblesse oblige. I guess he didn’t feel that $5 Kwanzaa bonus was sufficient.

Like I said, white liberals and minorities. All this white privilege isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Finding adequate minority help can be simply dreadful!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet a few banking friends for our weekly game of squash.

Cheerio!

Angry White Dude, Esquire

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