Folks, I’m pulling this classic (cough, cough) out of the trash bin attic for various reasons of sorts. Nostalgia? Not quite. In any case, hate it all over again, Swamp enjoy!
Originally published August, 2011…
Vot is dis I hear about some insolent fly-over country rabble daring to tink tots that we have specifically forbidden from being tot?! Vot is vrong wit you rrrrrracist teabaggers that you cannot see the visdom of our vays? Do you not understand that vee are your moral and intellectual superiors? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?!
Vell, vee vanted to do this the easy vay, but you leave us no choice.
Herr Gimp! Come hither and show these impudent heretics vot avaits them…
Vees pleasure, mein fraulein…
So, wedneck wapscallions, you tink you can just tink wottever tots you vish, eh?
Well, so did dis guy! Mwahahahahaha…
Or how would you like a vittle bit of vot dis guy got?
No? Steel not scared straight? Vell den, how about…dis!
Hmm…none of my usual tortures seem to be having much affect. Perhaps you might be villing to conform your tinking to your superiors’ demands once we show you how vee treat da children!!!
Are you ready to submit to our vill yet, natavist simpletons? No?! My veiner schnitzel you are a tick bunch! Perhaps you vont that I call in my friends from Media Matters, hmmmmmmm?
Yah, you just keep up the heresy, you hate-filled, bible-thumping rubes! Veel see vare dat gets you, yah!